Emotional Freedom and Reclaiming Self-worth with Lisa May Francisco
EP 44

Emotional Freedom and Reclaiming Self-worth with Lisa May Francisco

Show Notes: 

 

What if the biggest transformation of your life comes from simply allowing yourself to be seen? In this episode, Lisa May Francisco takes us on a journey of deep self-inquiry, healing, and stepping into her most authentic self. From navigating the pressures of cultural expectations to embracing spirituality and feminine embodiment, Lisa shares how she found emotional freedom and reclaimed her self-worth.

Lisa opens up about her journey from corporate life to spiritual entrepreneurship, highlighting the pivotal moments that led her to leave behind the traditional path she once followed. We dive into subconscious blocks, people-pleasing tendencies, and the resistance many face when stepping into their true power. Lisa also shares the powerful impact of EFT tapping and Kundalini yoga in her own life and how these modalities can help break through limiting beliefs.

We explore the dance between the masculine and feminine, working with goddess archetypes, and the importance of embracing life’s dualities—the light and the shadow, the destruction and the creation. Lisa reminds us that our healing isn’t about fixing ourselves but about allowing and integrating all parts of who we are.

If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, fear of being seen, or feeling disconnected from your true self, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that the path to freedom starts with embracing every part of your journey.

 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

 

Topics Covered:

  • Lisa’s journey from corporate to spiritual entrepreneurship
  • The fear of being seen and how it keeps us playing small
  • Understanding and breaking subconscious patterns of self-sabotage
  • EFT tapping as a tool for emotional freedom and self-worth
  • The interplay between masculine and feminine energy in healing
  • Reclaiming the mother archetype and working with goddess energy
  • The power of Kundalini yoga and breathwork in clearing blocks
  • How to create space for reflection and self-inquiry in a busy life
  • Embracing both the light and shadow aspects of transformation
  • Shifting from "fixing" yourself to allowing and accepting your wholeness

 

Resources Mentioned:

  • Free EFT tapping video. Click here

 

Guest Info:

 

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Show Transcript:

 

Tonya: Hi. Welcome to the Rainbo Podcast. I'm your host, Tonya Papanikolov. Rainbo and I are on a mission to upgrade humanity with fungi and expand the collective conscious. This podcast builds a virtual mycelial network of bold. Open-minded thinkers and seekers. I chat with experts, thought leaders, healers, scientists, entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, activists, and dreamers.

These are stories of healing, human potential and expansion, tune in root, in expand and journey with us.

Thank you so much for being here and I'm, I'm really excited to tune in with you.

Lisa May: Oh my goodness. Um, I'm so excited to be here too little tech snafus, but it's all good

Tonya: as to be expected. Truthfully, I love to start every episode with just tuning into what we're grateful for. So would love to hear what is floating around for you today.

Lisa May: Oh, I love that. So, I mean, you can see my cat, my furry friend, he's behind me. He's just sleeping and I am so grateful for him. So I'm house sitting and I. He and I love to snuggle. He's such a snuggle bunny. Mm. And so I've had him for 13 years. Wow. And I was just laying with him, feeling his pur vibrating feeling, the healing energy, and it just felt really good.

And I just had this moment of, this is when I feel my most abundant. Mm. I love that. And it just shows you, you don't have to be doing. Anything really. And it, it's something, it's an experience that you can't buy. Mm-hmm. And so I always try to ground myself in those moments of how can I be present? How can I just be, 'cause he really forces me to just be in that moment because I'll have thoughts running my head.

If I have to do this, I have to do that. And it's just really grounding for me.

Tonya: Hmm. Thank you for sharing that. I. Love cats so much and it really makes me miss my, it's my mom's cat, but we have this like, I don't know, it's a connection I've never experienced with an animal. Like they say, there's familiars where you like really on a soul level connect with these animals and a cat's per is just, yeah, it's, I think they're like that.

It's genuinely so good for the nervous system.

Lisa May: It is. It's like having a mini sound bath.

Tonya: Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. I love that. Okay. I will share today. I am grateful for I. Honestly, I think just the sun. I just was outside spending my morning, um, and some of my afternoon on some calls and just sitting in a ba like a ray of sunshine and just feeling the heat and energy and the way that it just lifts me up.

And I've been trying to kind of do that in the mornings, like get some direct sunlight right into my eyeballs and yeah, I mean that. That right now is coming up. Just this beautiful, raging ball of fire that keeps us all alive. Beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Well, I am so excited to just yeah. Hear about your work and what you've been up to and your journey.

Um, I know you had a pivot in your life. Probably many. Um, and there's yeah, so many places in. Things we can chat about, but I would love to just hear about what brought you to this place in your life. I do know that transitions are of interest to a lot of people and my audience specifically, I've chatted with some other guests about it.

So yeah. How, what has, what has brought you to be into doing this work?

Lisa May: Mm-hmm. I think for me it's, there are so many different things, right? As you said there, there can be so many different topics that we get into, but I really wanna talk about just this journey of my spirituality and I, I, I, you know, I grew up with religion.

Uh, my parents took me to church, but I don't think I really. I opened my eyes up to what spirituality could be, and to me, the way that I define it is just my way of being with in the world, understanding what my purpose is on a deeper level and understanding my soul at a deeper level. And I would say that whole spiritual path and gateway really opened up when I got sober.

So I was sober, I was in New York, it was back in 2011, and that really helped me understand and define. What are even my emotions? Mm-hmm. And so really understanding that and then exploring, okay, who am I in relation to other different people? Who am I in relation to romantic relationships? My family, who am I, you know, in relation to other women as well.

And it's always been this exploration of uncovering. What are the things that I try to anesthetize with alcohol, with drugs and money? It just sort of come to the surface and not be afraid or running from it and being really intimate with it and learning to love those parts of me that, that essentially I, I just.

Didn't feel comfortable or safe expressing. And you know, I've always had an inkling for helping other people in a different way, but I had this identity. I'm second generation. My parents are Filipino, so they immigrated from the Philippines to America. I. And it was very much this playbook that was given to me.

I'm okay, just do the corporate job and you'll be good and mm-hmm. You know, all of those things. It's very important to, to immigrant, uh, parents. Yeah. Especially, you know, mine. And so with that, I, I took on a lot of identities that I just didn't feel right. I took a lot of identities that. Felt right in terms of society.

Mm-hmm. Like getting my MBA so I can just make more money, you know? But I think as with a lot of people, covid just really forced me to think about, do I like doing what I, I'm actually doing? And so I was working in FinTech at the time and this really intense job and. I was doing internal communication.

So when Covid hit, a lot of people wanted to centralize everything while everyone was working remotely. So my, the demand for my job just increased and I was working overtime.

Wow.

Lisa May: And I just remember thinking, okay, now that all of these amenities that were given at work, the free food, all of those things that they kind of throw at you, they, they weren't there.

And I had to sit and I thought like, do I actually like doing what I'm doing? But I know I have this sort of like spiritual closeted side of me that I share with my friends, but I have this business side that I compartmentalized and just show in the external world. And for me, one of my colleagues, she said, you know, I'm actually going to do this coaching certification program.

And I thought, oh, well we have similar interests. Nobody try this. You know, I have free time on my hands, just staying home. And a lot of the stuff that I learned, I realized that. I was already doing innately with different people. So it's like I had my own spiritual practice. I was sharing it with other people undercover.

But to see that people were actually, there was a program to teach those types of skills that were so inherent within me, validated the fact that maybe this is something that I could do. And so I just created this, this whole plan of, of quitting my nine to five and just transitioning and ushering into this identity that just feels really, really true to my soul.

But then also. Learning, like how to decipher between the shoulds, right? Of how I show up, um, in the world with my business and what feels really close to me and like all the personal things that I'm going through as well. And so I think anytime you do spiritual work, there's a lot of different iterations and chapters of what you're working on.

Um, like I mentioned, the relation to, to romance, to family, all those different things. And I think in the last. Year or so, or a couple years. It's just been really about who am I in relation to the archetype of the mother and looking at the feminine aspect. 'cause I identified more with what is my relationship to the masculine in this patriarchal world.

Mm-hmm. And that's where I am today. I was like taking you on this

Tonya: journey. Love. Yeah. No, I, I appreciate, I appreciate hearing that. And it's like, COVID was such a, there's some interesting, depending on what calendars you'd look at, there is, um, like the procession of the Equinox actually. Like some people say the aquarium age.

Started in 2011, 2012, and there's another procession of the equinox, like to say that it actually started in 2019. And if you can think about like that, global, literally a global awakening. Like none other. And just, there is a date that says December 19th or 20th, 2019 was the true procession of the Equinox.

I was just chatting about that with a friend and it's based off of an older calendar, um, that, you know, he was telling me about. But I was like, wow. And. It's so fascinating to hear that story. I think they're on such a collective level. So much changed during that period. And, and I also think it's, there's so many people that can relate to this dance between our masculine and feminine size.

I know. I certainly can. And I like that you used the word relations so much because I, I also see that as being so. Fundamental in in the feminine itself because it's so embracing of all that is that it's encompassing of all of the hardships and the challenges and like maybe looking at how we relate to those things and some of the underpinnings of emotions that we might associate with not wanting to talk about that.

Thing, uh, like the shame or the guilt or whatever it is, and in my kind of expression and experience of how it's being embodied and experienced has been like, oh, I, you know, when a challenge comes up, it's like. How am I relating to that? What are all the things that come up? The triggers, the, the shadows, the like, where is all this energy coming from and can I relate to it differently?

Can I like maybe peek under the hood? It's such a process of deep inquiry and it's so juicy and fun. I very much love it, but I would yeah, love to hear about. Kind of like, you know, in your work and what do you see as some of the common blocks, subconscious blocks, self-sabotaging behaviors? Mm-hmm. Like how, what, what are some of the common ones that we could chat through?

Lisa May: Oh, oh goodness. I mean, here's one that everyone can relate to is just fear of not being good enough. I think especially when it comes to romantic relationships, fear that maybe deep down inside they don't really deserve a relationship that's loving, that's healthy, this fear of intimacy, uh, and being able to truly, truly share who you are because maybe it wasn't safe to share those things about who you are or you are just too much.

You're being seen. Mm-hmm. Is such a big one, and I see it a lot with entrepreneurs when they're finding their voice. Maybe a lot of people, I'm sure you've come across this 'cause you have your own podcasts. A lot of people wanna have a podcast, but then there's all these things of like, oh, I don't know where to start, you know?

And then there becomes that, the block. Yeah. That resistance of things. Yeah. Uhhuh Fear of Success. That's a huge one. So

Tonya: with fear of being seen, for example, which is kind of like paradoxical in nature because is there ultimately the desire to be seen, right? Yes.

Lisa May: Yes, yes. It's kind of like when you want a relationship, but you choose unavailable people.

It's like you really desire wanting to be seen, but it's too scary to be seen and so you'd rather just continue dimming your light and, and getting in situations where you aren't truly visible because it just feels unsafe somehow.

Tonya: And how. How do you, what's the process for kind of guiding people through that identification of core beliefs or like really getting into the subconscious?

Lisa May: Yeah, so I really love doing EFT tapping. I. I absolutely love doing EFT, tapping, and I think it's just such a great way to really understand, get to the root of things that you're scared of, especially your fears. So I started EFTI think back in 2018, and I loved it so much that I, I was, I was like, I wanna get certified in it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, it just helped me so much and then I saw how much it helped me. I just wanted to share with other people and help them. And, and so usually I'll just integrate it in my coaching, especially when we, we understand where the blocks maybe to someone's desire, their action, they're taken and there's just an action that I see.

And so we'll really see, especially if someone's triggered or they're really challenged by something, and we'll kind of look at what is underneath that trigger. 'cause oftentimes, we're not necessarily responding to the thing at hand. That's just a superficial thing that's going on for something a lot deeper.

And so through multiple rounds we'll get to. Maybe a different memory that happened when they were really young or some earlier memory that they didn't realize connected to that current moment. And then that's when the magic starts to happen because it's not necessarily bypassing, but you're looking at what's triggering you and you're saying that you accept yourself for it.

That's the differences. It's like what you were talking about in the beginning of, you know, this idea of learning to celebrate your wins as well as the challenges as well as the hardest parts of like in the feminine journey and experience is. That you get to accept all parts of yourself. So it's that totality and, and that harmony of your fears, but then also bringing more love to it.

Mm-hmm.

Tonya: What does the tapping do exactly? In the body?

Lisa May: Yeah. Mm-hmm. So as you're tapping, so you're tapping on different meridian points on your body. So it's like you have your karate chop, the head top of the eyebrows outside, you know, the eyes. Mouth, chin, chest, and sides of the body. And so those are specific meridian points that actually send a signal to your amygdala in your brain, letting it know your nervous system know like, Hey, it's actually okay.

You can relax. And so what happens is if I'll do a first round with someone, they'll immediately feel calm. Like, I actually don't take offense to anybody dawning, like, 'cause I realized like, okay, this is a state that we want you in. So that trigger all of a sudden has diffused and we can actually talk about that thing that you were so riled up about that had such emotional energy behind so we can actually work with it.

Mm-hmm. So it's, it's getting you to that state of, of neutral. So it's like, I know, you know, Kundalini and so it's like how do we get to that neutral body? It's the same thing. How do we get to that neutral mind? Mm-hmm. Beautiful.

Tonya: Are you finding that. There's What do you like? Would you say that it's a largely cultural force?

There is something maybe that we're not necessarily being taught that's really fundamental because we we're all born in this divinely perfect form, and there's through, you know, years and years of conditioning, we kind of create these hard and layers of ourselves. So how do you, yeah. How do you kind of look at that piece of it and.

Do you find that there's, like with, with a lot of women, there's like a, it's a really natural process of like this feminine aspect or is there, is it difficult for kind of others?

Lisa May: Mm-hmm. I think when it comes to this idea of cultural conditioning, I mean something that I've noticed, 'cause I spend a lot of time with my nephews and they're two and four years old, just this unbridled expression.

Sometimes I, I used to get confused, like when I was doing my own work, when I wasn't around children that much. I often thought it was nurtured and rightfully so. There are certain things that are nurtured within us, but I see these two young boys that already have a personality. And so it's actually made me question, what is nature versus nurture?

Because one is just very outspoken, right? And I'm sure along the way he will learn certain things about himself as he gets older and maybe that suppression that will come. But it's like you were talking about of it, it's, we're already whole. We're already complete. But then it's just those defense mechanisms that we actually place within ourselves.

It's those buttons that we place within ourselves that help us make up who we are. And I think all of a sudden, like you'll see it shift when it comes to midlife crisis or like that collective, you know, when everyone experienced COD. But I see now particularly the shift of people that want to understand and look deeper.

Like I remember when I first heard about attachment. To some styles that was, I wanna say, back in 2013. And now I love how it's just so part of everyone's everyday vocabulary. Mm-hmm. And how people are talking about the divine feminine people working with different goddesses. I think that's really powerful.

And so it's sort of this idea that people are starting to play with more of like the spiritual, the mystical side of things and understanding, I mean, you see this, you know, resurgence of people doing a lot of plant medicine too, and, and just. People are just more and more open and we talked about, you know, the Aquarius and, and all that.

And so it's just, I really see these archetypal patterns and shifts. Mm-hmm. In what, like with the time period that we're in truly.

Tonya: Yeah. Oh yeah. It's pretty remarkable to see like stuff that is now, there's whole industries around it. Will you tell us a bit more about the goddess work that you do and how you integrate that into your work?

Lisa May: Yes. Yes. So, I mean, my exploration and my inner journey of working with the goddess really stemmed from just working with a mother archetype. And when I think about the mother archetype, I think about that transition from being, you know, your maiden, your wooden maiden, uh, your wounded maiden of learning to, or just making decisions based off of the woundings, whether happen in childhood, whether it's your own.

It's like those, those beliefs and those, those blocks that we talked about earlier. And being the mother embodies that queen like energy. And so it's being able to use your voice, standing on your own, really loving yourself, really making decisions from a place that's really healthy and and being whole.

And when I think about working with different goddesses, it can be in archetype form. So each of the goddesses, especially in, you know, Hinduism, they have their own type of consciousness. And so I got certified in Tantra yoga, and we really learned, we learned that the traditional form of re it wasn't neo tantra that you see today where it's just primarily sacred sexuality, but it, it's about doing these reverent rituals, whether it's using their mantra to, to feel that different energy within yourself, doing yna, which is, you know, a fire ceremony, having offerings for the goddesses and really, really learning to understand that.

We all have those qualities within ourselves, and how do we invoke those qualities by working with these different goddesses. And so sometimes when I'm working with different clients, we'll use those goddesses as. You know, it's like their higher selves. Mm-hmm. It's like we talk about that in, in plain English, you know, all the time.

Like your higher self, who is she? And sometimes it's hard for people to believe that they can be a certain way. And so that's when we ask for guidance, that's where we ask for help and that's where we look to storytelling and myths. And that's where we work with Mantra to, to really help. Hone in on that spiritual practice and embed it into their life.

Tonya: Beautiful. And so there's other typically practices, rituals that women are kind of starting to integrate into their lives.

Lisa May: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So drop a meditation. Each of the goddesses have their own different meditation, or they're different mantras. They have multiple mantras. And so we typically work with that.

And you know, also this, you know, it doesn't have to be so formal or ritualistic. But it's understanding, especially when you think from a Jungian perspective of reading different myths. So looking at demeanor and Persephone, and understanding how the stories land for you wherever you are in that particular moment in your life.

And so, for example, you know Persephone, she's considered the maiden in this story. And so maybe when you were a teenager and you heard that story, you're like, oh my gosh, like I totally identify with. With Persephone and just how her mother may be smothering her, or as you're older and you wanna have a child demeanor and saying, wow, like that longing to see that daughter is maybe an extension of you.

Or that enveloping love that you feel for something that came outta your womb. And maybe you look at it differently and say, wow, deme or Persephone. Her relationship with Hades is actually an element of a woman's individuation of how usually romantic, you know, relationships takes you away from, from being that child, right?

It's a new relationship that the mother has to create space for. Maybe she's not ready. And so it's learning about how can these different myths invoke something within us that hasn't been stirred in a different way? And, and, and what does it mean to us and what meanings do we attach to it?

Tonya: Who are your, do you have specific ones that you like working with the most or one that you personally are working with right now?

Yeah.

Lisa May: Yeah. So there's two I would say. And she's a Hindu goddess, and, and you know, she, people are, are afraid of her. She's often associated with, with death. But I think it's very complex because. Within death, birth happens at the same time. So there is that element of creation and destruction simultaneously happening.

And so it kind of just goes back to what we were talking about in the very beginning of celebrating those challenges. And when I think of Cali as more of the dark, feminine. And I actually wrote about it in my newsletter yesterday 'cause I was just going through a really difficult time. It was an emotional time and we were talking about it in the green room of how like, wow, this week has been really emotional for a lot of people.

And an old wound came up, an old family wound came up that, you know, sometimes you think, oh, I thought I was over this and I found myself just being so busy 'cause I didn't wanna sit with it. Allowing myself to grieve. There was this expansion of the heart to connect even deeper to what was going on, to allow myself to give myself more love, give myself more grace, and you know, that is Cali.

You know, within that destruction, within the shadows, there's also that equal amount of light that you can experience, but you can't experience one without the other. And sometimes we have to let that dark magic of just being in the void of being in stillness, become that compost that we need to create to be nourished by that fertile soil.

So the darker the soil, the dirtier the soil, I. The, uh, the more benefits that we can, can get to, to nourish us to, to give us those nutrients of when we can fully birth ourselves anew.

Tonya: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I love that, that. That's resonant. Anytime I feel like give myself space to really go deep into the heart of the challenge or the darkness or the thing I want to avoid, I realize that that's like exactly where the gift is.

That's exactly where the up level is going to come from. And so now I've kind of like. Trained myself to like recognize that when I'm up against that tension and that resistance, there's something just beneath the surface that's, that's really just guiding me towards the next level of expansion. Mm-hmm.

And when I run away from it, when I want to run away, I'm like, something good just right there. Just gotta like, you know, create a bit of space. Yeah. How do you work with. Everybody's leading, you know, air, air quotes, busy lives. Mm-hmm. How do you recommend somebody shift into creating more spaciousness and just what those moments are when it's like, you know, mother, mother, mothers, fathers, like just new families.

Entrepreneurs, um, anybody in corporate like really full days and times and just wanting to slot some moments of pausing and reflection in there. Do you have any tips and ways to kind of

Lisa May: Yeah, absolutely. And this is funny 'cause I was leading a Sona practice and then I realized that. It was 75 minutes in the morning, you know, and most mothers, they couldn't join.

They couldn't join. And I thought to myself, there needs to be a shorter way of doing this. Sad practice. Does not like Lisa. Let's be real. Yeah. No one's gonna do a 75 minute practice in the morning and. It can easily just be you. And I learned this too at a conference I recently went to. It was just the woman said, oh, just sit on the toilet and pray.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Or you know, it can just be this simple thing where you don't have to do a 20 minute meditation, but when you're in bed about to like. You know, have your, your 10 toes on the floor, just placing your hand on your heart and your womb. That's it. And then just going about your day.

Mm-hmm. You know, and I think the important thing is to invite awareness rather than stillness awareness to know when you need stillness awareness to know, okay, I'm having, you know, really short breathing right now. How can I just take a big inhale and exhale? It can just be three cleansing breaths like that, or even if you're walking to or from meetings, how can you be present?

And just imagine that every single step you take is actually kissing the earth. And so it's inviting those moments of being aware. When you need to be still, I think can be really helpful. And something that I like to do in the evening is just really, really, you know, thinking just like, you know, roses and thorns.

Okay. Like what we started, right? Mm-hmm. The three gratitudes. Okay. What happened today? What did you learn? And then that's

Tonya: it. Mm-hmm.

Lisa May: I'd love to,

Tonya: we are both practitioners mm-hmm. Of Kundalini yoga. So I would love to hear about how you found Kundalini, the, the practices. If you, did you do your training with H2O?

Lisa May: No, I actually did my training through this woman owned business here in the Bay Area, Ora Kundalini.

Tonya: Okay. So cool. And yeah, and I'm curious because there's, uh, it's such a, there's lots of different ways to learn it, and even within contract p practices, there's element, there's so many similarities and elements and similar Chos.

Yes, yes. And so, yeah. How did you get into it? Do you have specific Chos meditations?

Lisa May: Yeah. Yeah. So. I got into it, I was following a spiritual teacher. She really got into it. That was like her flavor of the month, and so that's where I really learned breath of fire. It was back in 2013 and I said, okay, this is great.

I, I can do this. Breath work makes me feel really alive. It's awesome. I'll do breath of fire every time I have a presentation and I just feel all those nerves coming up and I would, you know, it's, it's something that I knew was in my back pocket, but I really didn't get into it, I would say until two years ago.

And I was having a block, so it's like my, my go-to modalities are either EFT or Kundalini CREs. Like those are the two things I do. Yeah. And then journaling and, and goddesses. But, uh, I, I just remember having a block at work and it was that transition of, okay, do I wanna keep doing this nine to five or do I wanna actually.

Dive into entrepreneurship and what that entails and just not knowing what the hell I'm gonna do. And I did this 40 day Sona, I can't remember the name of the crea, but it was just really helping you remove every single block to allow you to step into your potential. I feel like all of them are like that in some way.

Shape Form s Sian cha crea. No, it wasn't. That wasn't that one. It wasn't that. Anyways, but. Throughout it. And it's funny because you don't even realize the effects that are happening because you're doing all these different movements, different asanas. And surprisingly, on the 40th day was the day I actually quit my job.

Wow. Wow. And I did not time it that way. I just, and I didn't have an outcome. I just wanted clarity. I got that clarity. Mm-hmm. And so that to me, I realized, oh my gosh, this works. This works. Yeah. And so I remember I had already signed up for the tantra, you know, yoga training, but then I was thinking, okay, well can really works.

Should I just do that one instead? And I was so afraid of doing those early morning sadness that I just decided, okay, I'm not gonna do. Kundalini, I'm just gonna do the tanto one. And I'm glad it happened the way it was supposed to. Right, totally. And then, then six months later I did the, the Kundalini one because, you know, after I quit my job, I started doing more Koreas.

I started doing soba crea, and I was able to, to generate the same amount of money that I would've had if I'd stayed at my corporate job, getting the same amount of like the bonus that I would've had. Amazing. And so I just thought, oh my gosh, this is so great. And, and. Both of the experiences of going through those certifications were very, very different.

Were very different because I think with Tantra it's a very feminine practice where it's a very slow haa practice where you're really going inwards, you're holding Asana for such a long amount of time, you're, you know, it's Hindu, right? Sanskrit. There's a lot of Sikhism in Kundalini, even though it was derived from Korea yoga, but they're, I find it to be very masculine, very fiery.

So for me, I like to practice both elements mm-hmm. To fill that balance. But I love both of them. I love the mantras. I love them from their own different, you know.

Tonya: Yeah. Uh, effects. Yeah. I, I'm so curious. I've never done, um, Aton training, but it. What I, what I notice and love about it so much is that like the element of like really, really slowing down.

And taking your time to savor something or to experience something and to push yourself a bit beyond where the point where you'd rather just like look away or, you know, in anything in eating. Like it's, it's such a beautiful practice that can really weave its way into all of life.

Lisa May: Absolutely. It's, you know, the thing that I, that I glean from it the most is, you know, there's that element of.

Unifying a lot of the polarities in our life and seeing that everything is sacred. And so when you live your life as if everything is sacred, then it applies to even the mundane things, which allows you to slow down.

Mm-hmm.

Lisa May: Right. Such as, you know, just like laying with my cat. Savoring in that realizing that, or you know, like we talked about Cali, like the equal destruction is equal creation as well.

Mm-hmm. And so everything becomes sacred. So how do you live your life as sacred? So when you're touching another person, that touch isn't coming, isn't just from you and that energy, but then also knowing that their touching you with their skin as well in a different way. And so it just becomes this really beautiful.

Way of just like, love to everything. Yeah.

Tonya: Just, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Truly. I know you kind of, you speak to a lot of us, a lot of us do like this. The, the, the notion of alignment and authenticity. Maybe you can tell us a little bit about how to get there and what that, what that experience is, um, for various people and, you know, I think.

I love that purpose is kind of like a big part of that too, at least for me in my experience of like alignment. But I'd love to hear you share a little bit more about that.

Lisa May: Yeah, I think it goes back to. For me, the wild woman archetype, and that means really questioning things. And so it's that transition from being the dutiful daughter of just doing what everyone tells you that you need to do.

And that stems from a place of safety, right? We spoke about that of, you know, if I do this, then I'm gonna be loved unconditionally. And then there comes a point when you have to realize, at least for myself, where I realized, okay, I am actually creating codependency when I allow others to love me first.

And so how do I actually have the courage to, I. Very simply just state what's okay with me, what's not okay with me? And it's not just like romantic relationships saying, you know what you want in the relationship, but even friendships too, saying like, what's okay with you? What's not okay with you and the relationship, how people show up for you.

And just really feeling as if you're worthy of enough, even having an opinion. And I think the more that you start to share what's inside, even though it can be very, very scary, your, you know, and instead of your boys shaking, it starts to, to have this, this more of a stronger resonance with you. Mm-hmm.

You start to develop this level of like, I know how to connect to my intuition. I know how to connect inwards because at the same time, you're not outsourcing a lot of the, you know, thoughts that are coming in of what you should do, what you shouldn't do, and just really, really staying in a quiet like, you know, you practice Gini also.

It's just, that's why sadness is so important for me before I do anything else, is because it allows me to connect to my true soul and when I learn how to understand. What that voice is and what that inner voice is, then it gets easier to show up in the world and let people know what I'm okay with, what I'm not okay with.

You know, and it's not perfect. There are still days when I realized, you know, I'm giving, I, I'm still caring about what other people think. And then that realization hits really, really hard, and it has to come from this place of, okay, I know that it happened. How can I have grace for myself and how can I continue to just keep walking this path and be considered wild even if other people don't like it?

Even if. People aren't pleased anymore. And just learning to be okay with disappointing others rather than disappointing myself because for so long I've self abandoned and that's just not an option anymore.

Tonya: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's so beautiful. Thank you for, for sharing that. That's, yeah. That sounds like.

Such a beautiful experience of alignment and I think that that heart-centered piece too, that I know is central to the work you do, which is like moving from, operating from within the mind. And I'm, I'm always, I'm always so amazed by the mind and it's, and it's. Obsessions and, you know, fears and just all of the ways it keeps us so human.

And, you know, and also learning about all of the kind of collective ways within like the Kundalini philosophy of how the mind is experienced within the whole. And I think sometimes, you know, as, as a sensitive person with a lot of open channels, like I can really tune into that collective piece. Wow. But yeah, it's really like, I, I think what I've really at least gathered from what, what we've been chatting about is that like the, the awareness and bringing it into our heart spaces and just like being present with the emotion and just acknowledging it.

Yeah. Yeah. And I haven't done too much EFT tapping, but I, I've been actually like feeling called to it for the past few months. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of like, I think it would be, I, I, I tried it with, I used to do it like with friends here and there years ago. Yeah. And. It, it does seem like such a beautiful practice.

Lisa May: Oh yeah. We'll, we'll do one together. Yeah. I would love

Tonya: that.

Lisa May: But I'm also of the mind too, like I am innovative astrology. I'm double Gemini, so like I can get so lost in a mind mental thing, like chatter, all that stuff. So it takes a lot. Mm-hmm. For me to connect even deeper to my body and just mm-hmm.

Like, okay. Just come back to center. Yeah, yeah,

Tonya: yeah, yeah. And there's like, it really is, it's a, it's, it's a lifelong journey. I think there's like giving yourself grace in that experience of like. What the path looks like in different phases of life and seasons where, you know what, like, you might feel like you're regressing or like, like there's just, it's, it really is, it's such a commitment to a lifelong journey.

Lisa May: Yeah. Yeah. And also not like for me, just I'm always the type of person that would just wants to rush the timeline.

Mm-hmm.

Lisa May: Mm-hmm. You know, it's like I don't believe in divine timing. I believe in my own time. Yeah. I

Tonya: know there's a lot of polarities sold. There really are. I feel that a lot. What do you, so when with the people pleasing piece and like, that's something that resonates a lot for me and I know so many people.

What you, how do you identify that? How do you, I mean, what do you think some of the underpinnings and and root causes of that come from and stem from?

Lisa May: Yeah, I think it. It's so interesting. I was speaking to someone earlier about it and it's this idea of almost wanting to take, take care of someone else's emotions.

It's this idea of, or feeling like this, this genuine feeling of how can I make sure they're okay before I'm okay? And sometimes we, we tend to not check in and see how we feel about a certain situation. 'cause we're more worried about how the other people are going to react as opposed to how. Experience makes us feel, and maybe it's just forcing yourself to do something that, you know, deep down you don't wanna do, but it's gonna make someone else happy.

Um, and so then a lot of resentment comes up and I think we really have to look inwards and just ask ourselves the questions of why does their happiness matter more than mine? Or why do I care so much that they're okay, rather than if this makes me feel okay. It all stems from like, you know, maybe you don't wanna disappoint someone, or maybe if you don't do something there, it's conditional love.

You know? It's just sometimes it's easier to go along with what everyone wants versus standing up and saying, Hey, I actually don't wanna do that, because maybe there's a fear of confrontation too. Or there's a fear of changing the dynamic and having the dynamic be different because you've changed. And so that's, that's, you know, typically what I see and it's just sometimes it's just easier to go mm-hmm.

With the flow and be chill, right?

Tonya: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And there's like a crowd or a mentality. And it's funny too, 'cause as you were talking, I was also kind of thinking about like the other side to it as well, where. Everything exists on a spectrum, right? Mm-hmm. So on the other end of maybe people pleasing and putting other people before yourself is maybe selfishness.

And you know, like, I don't know if that somewhere in there is like those two are are connected. And so there's also the piece of like when you're prioritizing somebody's needs or a child or like the integrity of your relationship or something along those lines too, which is. An essential ingredient. And I think those like underlying motives.

Mm-hmm. So like, where am I? Where am I giving, where am I taking, what is it that, you know, I think it's like those moments of pause and I sometimes like really reflect on the, the moment between the stimulus and my response and like that pause and that space where it's like. Can I tune in with myself first?

Just feel into like, is this a yes or a no? And do I have any other responsibilities or obligations or, you know, will this, yeah. There's so much to unpack within it, but I think it's, yeah, and, and, and, and also I, I feel sometimes with that people pleasing, there's like the really underlying urge for connection, right?

Lisa May: Mm.

Tonya: Mm-hmm.

Lisa May: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's. It's hard, right? To have that pause and just ask yourself, does it feel right?

Mm-hmm.

Lisa May: When I do this, I think it's easier to see whether or not it feels right afterwards and there's resentment after you've said yes or

mm-hmm. Totally. You know, because

Lisa May: it's like, you know, someone might, may call you selfish or.

But when you say no, you are taking care of yourself. And so it goes back to this idea of like, how do we use our sacred No. Mm-hmm. Because no is is a complete sentence in itself.

Tonya: Mm-hmm. I love and no. Yeah. I love a no.

Yeah. Yeah. They get easier and easier to identify too. Mm-hmm. Over time. And it's, and it's so instinctual. Sometimes, do you know what your human design is? Yes. So I'm a five one generator. Okay. Yes. You mentioned you're a generator. Okay. Five one. Oh, yeah. So you've got, got so much good self-sustaining energy.

Lisa May: I do, I do. My partner, he is a projector and so like I, yeah, he loves being around me. I'm like, that's because I give you energy. You can't make your own. Yeah,

Tonya: it's true. I'm a projector too. But you know, I think alone time actually refuels me in, in a way. Yeah. Do you, since you're on the Rainbo podcast, do you have any.

Experiences with mushrooms. Do you take functional mushrooms? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Would love to hear.

Lisa May: Yeah. So I have just been a fan of Reishi. I've been a fan of Lions Mane. I've been taking the ones, yes. Good. You've kidding me. Yeah. And I just, I just, I love, love, love. Supplements, functional medicine, functional doctors, acupuncture, like all of that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. All of that. So, so, so much and I just noticed such a huge shift in my energy and I, I really do feel that I nourish myself when I take them. Mm-hmm. There's just something about it, whether it's Chinese herbs, whether it's, you know, those tinctures where I feel like I'm taking such good care of myself.

Mm-hmm. It just feels so good. Yeah. And I've heard the concept of. REI babies. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. I mean, yeah.

Tonya: I'm a big proponent of REI babies.

Lisa May: Yeah. Yeah. So for those that don't know, it said that some women, when they're pregnant, they can take, you know, reishi supplements and, and your baby will have this calm demeanor.

Yeah. And so

Tonya: what I love. Actually is that like, it's actually a reflection of the parents and it's, and what's often missed. And I made like a whole kind of like real educational reel about this. But when I dove into it deeper, it was like, you know, there's so much emphasis on the mother in, in pregnancy.

Um, of course, like she's holding the child. But what I realized, and I I, you know, it is, it was really just about the environment of safety that we can put the mother and baby in with the masculine and with the mother and father, both taking Rishi and like regulating that nervous system because it's so crucial for the development of a baby.

Those like first months are gonna set that child up for the rest of its life, which is crazy how much is happening in that space. But I, I love bringing the father into Resha babies too, because, you know, there is, there's just that, you know, really like nourishing the mother and the baby in that experience and holding that so preciously and sacredly mm-hmm.

Is, you know, big,

Lisa May: big piece. Oh, I love that. I love that. I didn't realize that that's something that you are a proponent of. Also, just allowing the father to partake in that and just, yeah. So it creates this whole, it's like this feedback loop. Totally, everyone. Totally. That's beautiful.

Tonya: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like that masculine kind of container to hold the, the softness and the, and the fluidity and you know, that the essence of the feminine and creation, I suppose, like in this most pur forms.

Lisa May: I know, it's like it's the least you can do. Just take, just take these tinctures.

Tonya: Yeah. I rishi's my number one. Oh, good. I honestly kind of even see Rishi as a, as an archetype. Um, ah, yeah. Like, she's like queen archetype in my mm-hmm. Like, yeah. Yeah. And I, and I, you know, you may be familiar with all of the beautiful in, in traditional Chinese medicine and Eastern philosophies, just the kind of reverence that they have for these plants and fungal Oh, yes.

Allies. Like, it's, it's really, it's really remarkable.

Lisa May: Oh my goodness. Yeah, I was, because I went to see a new acupuncturist this past week when I was telling her, oh, I'm taking Reishi and LandAid, and she said her face lit up so hard. Oh my gosh. You're amazing. Yeah. And she's a woman that makes her own herbs at home and so, you know, love that.

She just loves it. She's like, oh, okay. You love these herbs then.

Tonya: Aw, that's so special. I love to hear that. Yeah. Well, I wanted to check in and see if there's any other messages and here where people can find you. I know you'll have a, a special offer for the community, which is, I'm so grateful for that. So where can we find you?

Yes.

Lisa May: Absolutely. So I'm on social, I'm doing, you know, Instagram, so you can find me at Sacred Fem Alchemy, and we're gonna have all of this in the show notes as well. And also my podcast. I've been actually doing something pretty interesting where I just wanted to do a 32 day challenge of just sharing and, and so the series has shocked these Soul Sessions, sessions.

Uh, within the Sacred Fam Alchemy Podcast, and it's, it's truly about the expression and dharma talks, and I'm, I'm loving just doing that. And the offer that I would love to offer your audience is just donation based EFT tapping sessions. I know that we touched base on it and just the power it has, especially with regulating your nervous system, removing any blocks, and to experience that magic, I'd love to offer it to your listeners.

And so we're gonna put that link in the show notes of how you can book your call so we can work together one-on-one.

Tonya: That's, yeah. So generous. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And if you could leave us with a prayer, one piece of advice, a message for the audience today, what would you say?

Lisa May: Yeah. Well, I always love ending my Kundalini sessions with peace to all, love to all light to all.

And it's like we're, we talked about so many different ways of how to just deepen your own connection to yourself in this episode. And I think it's about not only are you nourishing yourself, but how are you nourishing the collective? Mm-hmm. And so it's always remembering that even though it might be from an individual pursuit, that everybody's healing, everybody's feeling your energy, everybody's feeling your light.

Um, whether you know it or not. And so I just love to leave with that little prayer. Peace to all, love to all light to all.

Mm.

Tonya: Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here and sharing your wisdom. Thank you. Yeah. That actually leaves me with one last, one last thought or consideration. Yeah. Just around like, you know, I think I, I just love what you said so much about the ex, like coming to a place of, of deep acceptance and presence and awareness with what is.

Mm-hmm. And something that has been coming up for me in the past week, I'd say is also because I've been on a long healing journey. It's just like healing from healing. Mm. And healing from the identification that something's always wrong. Mm-hmm. And I think sometimes with this work you can get into an obsessive loop and cycle

mm-hmm.

Tonya: With some things where you're just like constantly trying to fix yourself. Yes. And I've been there like many, many times over and it's. It's so interesting because there is just tremendous amounts of deep healing work that are required on, on Earth and collectively, individually and simultaneously. Just like bringing it back to that relational experience of like, how am I relating to this and can I shift from needing to fix myself to, Hmm.

This open acceptance of like, here's what's like, like presence, right? Like that eternal now feeling of like I'm just here with what is. Mm-hmm. And putting all these beautiful tools in our toolboxes to regulate ourselves and relate to the world and. Be in our like highest expression.

Mm-hmm.

Tonya: And recognizing that that also means we're always gonna be working through the things.

Yeah.

Lisa May: Ah, so beautifully said. I feel like that just embodies everything that we spoke about of just sitting with it.

Mm-hmm.

Lisa May: Not needing to be fixed. Not needing anything to be a certain way or contorting things to be a certain way, but just sitting with it and that's the best healing that someone can do.

You know? Yeah. Sometimes we have all these tools that maybe the best one in that moment is just to sit with it and do nothing. Mm-hmm. And that's the hardest part of being in the void. Mm-hmm. Which is also a void. Yeah. Yeah. But like you said, there's, there's magic in, in facing. That darkness.

Tonya: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Thank you so much for your time and heart and soul and gifts and sharing that all with us today, and I'm so excited to now be in each other's orbits. Of

Lisa May: course. Thank you for having me, and this was just such a beautiful conversation. Really appreciate you spending time with me.

Tonya: Likewise, thank you with deep gratitude.

Thanks for tuning into this episode. If you liked it, hit subscribe and leave us a review. That is always very appreciated. Mushrooms transform into my mind and body, and if you're interested in bringing medicinal mushrooms into your life and health journey. Check out rainbo.com for our meticulously sourced Canadian fruiting body mushroom tinctures.

Until next time, peace in and peace out friends.

 

Keywords:

Emotional healing, self-worth journey, spiritual transformation, EFT tapping benefits, Kundalini yoga for healing, overcoming fear of being seen, feminine embodiment practices, breaking subconscious blocks, goddess archetypes in healing, balancing masculine and feminine energy

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